Chakras and Shotguns…a Woman’s Montana Memoir

Sometimes a woman needs a change of scenery.

As much as I love the Colorado ranch, I needed to go beyond the arena for a few days. On an adventure to Big Sky Country for a Wildheart Retreat.

I decided to drive there. My gut told me I needed a solo road trip.

I didn’t know what lay in store for me on the road ahead but I knew that Montana had some answers.

So I put an air mattress in the back of the Suburban and headed North…

There is a reason Montana is called Big Sky Country. The skies stretch as far as the eye can see and gives a whole new meaning to wide open spaces. I fell in love immediately.

The retreat was led by the dynamic trio of fellow coaches Wildheart Revolution leader Sally Hope, Business and Money coach Ellen Ercolini and Love and Relationship coach Natalie Vartanian.

The weekend was packed with activities like ATVing, skeet shooting, horseback riding, barrel racing and learning about falconry.  We also wrote out what we wanted to let go of in our lives and burned the lists in a fire.

I had reservations about skeet shooting because I’m not a hunter and I have mixed feelings about guns. But I was willing to try and we had an amazing female instructor who gave a great safety demonstration.

I surprised myself…I loved it. Turns out, I’m a straight shooter and won a mug for hitting the most clay disks in my group.

Later that night I chatted about chakras and energy work with some fellow Wildhearts.

Point is, pre-Wildheart retreat I would only be sharing about the chakra part with you. Not wanting to rock the boat out of fear that you won’t agree or like the shooting part. Truth is, you may not agree and that’s ok.

For a long time, I was trying to fit in to a specific way that I wanted people to see me. Telling myself “If you’re this________then you can’t be that_______. I mean, what will people think?!” 

Talk about feeling suffocated and confined of my own doing.

But you can’t stay small in Montana. It brought out all my different sides. Complete opposites. Dichotomies all playing together. It was awesome and FREEING.

I loved feeling like a badass, driving ATV’s splashing through mud while having crystals in my pocket.

Basking in the solitude of driving thirty hours on a solo road trip, then being in a group of twenty amazing Wildhearted women for three days.

Car camping under the stars, then staying in a beautiful lodge with luxurious rustic amenities.

Barrel racing like a cowgirl, then later that night, crying on trail horse Dandy’s shoulder while he gave me some impromptu equine therapy.

Listening to Dolly Parton, Norah Jones and Creedence Clearwater Revival.

Drinking Coors Light one night and champagne the next.

Shooting shotguns and talking chakras.

Wearing a cowgirl hat and yoga pants.

Big Sky country taught me to expand and share more of myself with others. The feminine, vulnerable, rugged, tough, adventurous, sensitive sides. I’m all of it. Not one or the other. I gave myself permission to be all of it. To show up and fully be ME.

Montana is a great teacher. The landscape here is as diverse as the skies. Golden rays of morning light on the bald hilltops above the majestic rocky hills and wide open prairies. Montana puts it all out there, lucky for us!

Maybe you can relate? Do you hide or tone down sides of yourself so you don’t confuse people or rock the boat? Maybe you like opera and hip hop? Or you love riding motorcycles and sewing? Or you like to ride horses like the wind and experience their healing power in a therapeutic setting? Whatever it is, ROCK IT ALL.

The more you give yourself permission to show up as you really are, the more the right people and situations will find you.

“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you…as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson

What parts of yourself are you ready to share more of? You don’t just have to be one way…BE ALL OF YOU.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments below!

The git r’ done metaphysical cowgirl,

Devon