Trust your intuition to follow your dreams

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I learned just how powerful my intuition is when I packed up my life, left a six year real estate career, cashed my last commission check, and moved from a Denver townhouse to the Larkspur ranch.

Well-intentioned friends, family and colleagues advised me to keep my real estate license “just in case” and “as a backup”.

But my intuition spoke to me saying something entirely different. It told me to cut off the golden handcuffs and go for it. After three and a half years of working in real estate and building Unbridled Retreats simultaneously, it was time to make the leap into living my dream full-time.

So I jumped! I was bound and determined to never have the phrases “Outstanding curb appeal” and “Light and bright kitchen” come out of my mouth again. Instead I wanted to follow my intuition which said my purpose was to work with women and horses, my true calling.

Trust your intuition and take the leap-Moving day-Unbridled Retreats

After years of trying to be who I thought I should be, I began living my life in alignment with who I really am…a woman who is much happier helping people find their personal worth vs. the worth of their home.

Being true to yourself is about going for what you want, not what you think you “should” want based on the expectations of your friends, your spouse, your kids, your relatives, or your colleagues.

Following your dreams requires taking risks, accepting uncertainty, relying on your courage, and learning to trust your intuition. Taking the path of your dreams is the road less traveled. If you’ve read this far I know you’ve got a calling that will lead to your dream, even if you’re not living it yet.

Empowered women following their dreams at Unbridled Retreats

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND TRUST YOUR INTUITION. It will guide you, one step (or leap), at a time.

Your dream may not happen overnight but it will happen over time. Never give up, trust your intuition, believe in yourself, get support, take risks, find mentors, and give it everything you’ve got.

Do you listen to your intuition? I’d love to hear from you. Share in the comments below.

The Realtor turned ranchwoman,

Devon

My Life with Horses

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My legacy is to bring the healing power of horses to others in need.

My mission- to help others experience the support and acceptance found in connecting with horses_Unbrildled Retreats
I was blessed to grow up with horses, although at the time I didn’t realize just how lucky I was. Both of my parents are horse people. Every Sunday we would go to the pasture across from my grandparents’ home and ride horses around the lake. My pony was named Chindy.

At the time I didn’t appreciate the gift of horses because I wasn’t given a choice to ride, it was my parents decision. My eight-year-old self wanted to do other things like play soccer and hang out with my friends. However, that all changed in fourth grade when Brynie and Dina, the cool girls, started to take riding lessons at a fancy barn called High Prairie Farms in Parker, Colorado. I was invited to take riding lessons with them, and I became hooked. I loved going to the barn for lessons every Friday after school. I loved the ritual of riding and the riding uniform—paddock boots, leather chaps and helmet.

I began taking riding lessons once a week and my obsession with horses started to develop. By the time I was 11 years old I identified completely with the riding culture. 

When I wasn’t taking riding lessons at High Prairie Farms, I was riding Chindy at my grandparent’s house and spending a lot of time on the necessary chores of mucking, grooming, and feeding. I didn’t mind the work at all; I wanted to spend as much time as possible with my four-legged friends. Brynie and Dina quit riding, but I kept going. The horse force inside me was strong and there was no turning back. “Horse Girl” became my identity, and the barn was a safe haven where I could truly be myself.

My Life With Horses_Unbridled Retreas

At age 14, I started working with a new trainer, Jim, who helped me get accepted into Pony Club. I began competing in three-day eventing which was a blast. Some of my favorite memories were at Pony Club rallies and cross country jumping with one of my closest friends, Brooke. My big, beautiful, chestnut gelding Rooney was my constant companion from the age of 12 to 17. We won one horse trial. Rooney didn’t always like to jump (resulting in a broken nose for me during one attempt). My love for horses  and my horse-life identity was growing every year.

My Life With Horses_Unbridled Retreats-The Early Years

I continued riding up until the end of high school, when I made the choice to go to the University of California in Santa Barbara. I envisioned living by the beach and marrying a surfer guy. I had decided it was time to move forward and explore a life beyond horses. I sold my horse and went to college. At the time I was a perfectionist with control issues and the consequences of these characteristics were starting to show. Being so far away from home without my horse, my friends, or my family led to a deep depression.

The dorm rooms were not a safe haven as the barn had been. I began numbing my feelings through bulimia which quickly became a daily routine. This helped me feel more in control, numbing my discomfort but it also kept me from a social life and affected my studies. After six months in California, I dropped out of college and returned to Colorado. I attended Colorado State University briefly, but at that point, my obsession with food and numbing my emotions ran my life. I thought joining the polo team at CSU would be helpful because I’d be around horses, but it wasn’t the same.

Riding horses wasn’t the answer—I was out-of-control and facing addiction. I tried to escape. I dropped out of college and went to New Zealand thinking if I went halfway around the world, I could run-away from my eating disorder. 

Waitressing in Queenstown in the South Island, the bulimia continued. I moved again, to the North Island, thinking if I worked on a horse farm in small town Raglan maybe being around horses could fix me. I got a job as the head groom of a hare hunting stable and I was riding four or five horses every day. It was beautiful country, the riding was great, but again, my soul craved more than riding horses. I felt lost and confused and I knew I needed to heal from the inside out.

I ended my work visa early and came back to Colorado feeling like a failure, ashamed at my attempts to escape my problems. I was self-sabotaging, which landed me in a hospital, then a mental institution, then Mirasol, a holistic eating disorder treatment center in Arizona.

Mirasol offered equine therapy to help patients. I’d never heard of equine therapy, but I knew that “equine” meant I’d be around horses again. When I showed up at the treatment center in Arizona, it was unlike the sanitary mental institution feel of the hospital. There were no fluorescent lights, only natural sunshine and a beautiful hacienda that had been converted into an inviting treatment center. I immediately felt my soul take a deep breath, and I knew this was where my healing was meant to happen.

I looked forward to the equine therapy sessions and I was excited to be around horses again. I volunteered to be the first to go in a session and I stepped into the round pen with a horse named Jack. There were no bridles, no saddles—this was not about riding, this was something different. Marla, the equine therapist, told me to go to Jack and connect with him. I confidently walked right up to him and he walked away. He turned his butt to me and walked as far away as he could! I stood there feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Even the horse didn’t want to be with me at this point of my addiction and self-destruction. I didn’t blame him.

Marla saw my pain and told me to ground myself in the dirt and take long, deep breaths. As I began to connect and root to the earth, I felt a wave of emotion come from deep within me. For the first time in my 21 years of life, I could not control my emotions. The tears began leaking out of my eyes and I started sobbing. The moment my authentic emotions were released, Jack turned and looked at me and then immediately walked over and placed his gentle muzzle in my heart.

My Life-Changing Encounter with Horses_Unbridled Retreats

I was wailing and sobbing and Jack stood with me through my pain, not moving. He stood with me and offered unwavering strength, support, and unconditional love. I was shocked, experiencing a deep love and connection I had never known. Jack accepted me exactly as I was, and that’s what my soul needed. In that moment, everything changed. My relationship with horses stopped being ego-based, and instead began to emanate from my heart. Jack’s presence and love had shifted my vibration and I felt open, hopeful, and eager to share more of my authentic self with the world, a feeling I’d never had before.

That moment in the round pen opened up my heart and my past and started me on the path to helping others through the healing power of horses. I finished my 60-day treatment at Mirasol and returned home full of hope and purpose. I soon was introduced to a training program that taught coaching with horses and I immediately signed up to attend. It seemed that the universe had placed in my hands the ideal education. I was excited and passionate about learning to help others through horses in a healing way. I became an avid student, always studying (something I had never done in college). I now had a purpose— to connect people with horses for healing, self-discovery, and empowerment. 

My bulimia had subsided and my energy was redirected with intense focus into my newfound passion. I began volunteering at therapeutic riding centers, immersing myself in the equine coaching world. I had found my calling. Horses had been by my side throughout my life, patiently waiting, but it wasn’t until my darkest days that I saw their light and was pulled me out of my dark tunnel of despair.

It became my life’s purpose and living legacy to help others experience the love, support, and acceptance found in connecting with horses—it’s an authentic connection unlike any other relationship. Several years later I founded Beyond the Arena and then Unbridled Retreats. With horses as my partners, we help people access their inner wisdom during coaching sessions and horse retreats to take back into their everyday lives. This happens without judgment, through love and pure honesty. After a lifetime spent with horses, I am still in awe of their gentle patience, and their ability to teach all of us about ourselves.  

My mission- to help others experience the support and acceptance found in connecting with horses_Unbrildled Retreats

Have you been transformed by horses? Share your experience in the comments below.

With love,

Devon

When Inspiration hits, do this

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When you feel inspired, there’s a reason. It’s an intuitive hit saying pay attention, this is a bread crumb on the trail, see where this leads.

This morning, I was up at 5:15am, journaling (I’ve been getting up WAY earlier in the past two months since I stopped drinking alcohol) and I had Spotify music playing in the background. The song, “Sing, Sing, Sing” by Benny Goodman came on and stopped me from writing. My heart joyfully jumped to the beat of the drums and I instinctively started moving my shoulders to the rhythm. I closed my eyes and imagined myself being twirled, flipped and spun around a dance floor to the music. I continued visualizing that scene with a smile on my face for the next two minutes while the song played.

The visualization gave me a light, happy feeling. Suddenly a thought popped in my head, “Mercury Cafe,” a downtown Denver club that offers dance lessons. I hadn’t thought of it years.

“In order to make visualization a reality in the world form, you must be willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.” — Wayne Dyer

With “Sing, Sing, Sing” playing on repeat in the background, I quickly googled Mercury Cafe on my phone and scrolled through their Lindy Hop, Swing, and Jazz dance classes. It looked like FUN! No surprise, they are currently closed with Covid-19 but I immediately signed up for the email list to be notified when classes open up. In the interim, I enrolled in SwingNights an online dance platform where they’re teaching a solo Charleston routine.

Dancing makes me happy, upbeat music makes me happy, and I’m intentional about saying YES to what makes me happy without needing to know all the details. I followed my inspiration, took immediate action and now I’m eagerly committed to taking dance classes.

The whole process took place in under 8 minutes. When inspiration hits, take a small action step. Don’t entertain thoughts of doubt, fear or past programming of why you CAN’T do something.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” ―Dale Carnegie

Taking an immediate small action step is crucial because the fear-based ego likes to swoop in and take over when we explore things outside our comfort zone and courageously step into the unknown.

I don’t have swing dance shoes, I don’t know how long it will take me to learn the dances, I don’t know who my dance partner will be when live classes open but these unknowns will be divinely revealed. Right now, all I need is the deep knowing in my gut, the smile on my face when I visualize swing dancing, and the feeling of excitement of where this may lead.

When there’s excitement and joy present, it’s a SIGN. Go with it.

“Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance. Great dancers are great because of their passion.”- Martha Graham

Keep you mind open and receptive for hits of inspiration. Inspiration can come from innumerable places: a song, a movie, something you read, something someone says, from nature, or an intuitive hit while while exercising, cooking, taking a shower,  gardening, making your bed, etc.

Pay attention to what inspires you. Acknowledge it. Follow it. Take the next SMALL step in that direction.

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

What inspires you? I’d love to know, share in the comments below.

Tapping my feet to the beat,

Devon 

Do you feed your Soul or your Ego?

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Since moving to the ranchette, I’ve softened. My energy has softened, my voice has softened and my body has softened.

I’ve started living in alignment with who I truly am.

unbridled-retreats

When I’m on the phone, my friends tell me that my voice is less intense. I’m not trying so hard and pushing to make things happen.

I’ve found a new rhythm.

It doesn’t involve cable, constant Starbucks runs, a real estate career and frequent happy hours like my city life did. That rhythm fed my ego and kept me going at an unnatural pace. Constantly striving and driving.

The satisfaction was fleeting. It looked good from the outside. It worked ok. But it didn’t feel right.

My current rhythm is much more in sync with my true nature.

It involves waking up without an alarm clock, going to bed around ten, caring for horses, ranch chores, looking at the stars, building relationships in the community, expressing my gifts and pouring my heart into Unbridled Retreats and then letting go of the outcome.

I’ve stopped pushing, forcing and hunting down what I want. Thank god because I was repelling people, business opportunities and potential romantic relationships away. My masculine energy had over ridden my feminine energy and it was an energetic turn off.

Somewhere along the way I had picked up the belief that I couldn’t be vulnerable, feminine, soft AND pursue my dreams and achieve success at the same time.

Nature and the ranchette have taught me differently.

That I can’t control everything. That it’s ok to stop holding on so tightly. That the weather is going to change. That the sun is still going to come out. That it’s safe to surrender. Surrender to my calling and my true nature. That’s my new definition of success.

Coming from that perspective, new business has come in unexpected ways. No surprise really. I finally got out of my own way. I let go of how I was convinced things SHOULD look and started trusting how they are naturally meant to unfold. Easier said then done but I’ve got  a great mentor: Nature.

Nature’s got it figured out. I’ve started following her lead.

I still do what needs to be done but then I let go. My energy has shifted and that has made all the difference.

I’ve also shifted into gratitude. I can’t help it. It’s too beautiful here.

I was sweeping out the barn last week. All the doors were open and there was a breeze coming through. I could hear the horses contently munching hay outside in the paddock. A huge wave of gratitude overcame me. It brought me down to my knees in the middle of the barn. Tears streamed down my face and gratitude busted me wide open.

I’ve never felt so alive. So connected.

I feel nourished and full. My body has softened. My natural curves have filled in and I FEEL whole, beautiful and feminine. I feel like the woman I’m meant to be.

When my soul is fed everything else seems to fall into place.

What feeds your soul?

Until you try something new, you never know what the outcome will be. That’s the catch, you never know until you answer the call and FOLLOW YOUR INTUITION.

Why else are we here if not to do what makes your soul happy? It’s not selfish. What’s selfish is compromising who you are and holding back from sharing your natural gifts with the world.

I’m not saying it’s easy to let go of your comfort zone, the familiar, what you THINK you need in order to feel successful, happy and content. But it is worth exploring.

You may be surprised at what you need to thrive.

For me, it was less stuff, more nature. Less striving, more trusting and allowing.

Once you start feeding your soul and aligning with your true nature, the universe responds. I guarantee it. My ego kept me in the city. My intuition brought me to the ranchette.

Trust your intuition and find what feeds your soul. Then immerse yourself in it as much as possible. Your life will change for the better.

Love,

Devon

How to Handle Criticism

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Awhile back something happened that really rocked me. I received my first scathing email from someone who attended a retreat I led. As I opened the email and read the first sentence, I stopped breathing and braced myself for the blow that was coming. My eyes raced through the first paragraph, trying to avoid the stinging words leaping off my computer screen. I thought the quicker I could read through it, the less it would hurt.

As I proceeded to read through the 13 paragraphs of what I did wrong, my emotions went in every direction imaginable.  I felt angry, shocked, hurt and sad.

It was my worst nightmare come true…someone didn’t like me or what I had to offer. My inner people-pleaser was crushed.

My mind started racing around all the “wrong” things I did, and my thoughts spiraled to “I must be wrong,” “I must not be good enough if someone else thinks so.”

Then, the other part of my brain kicked in, my inner defender who digs her heels in the dirt, points the finger back and says, “That’s bullshit,” “She’s out of line,” “This is about her and not me.”

My thoughts continued to run rampant and the email became the last thing I thought about at night, and the first thing I thought about in the morning.

It took me a few days before I decided to revisit the email, this time with a compassionate perspective. I put myself in the messenger’s cowboy boots to see where she’s coming from.

Once I adopted the compassion angle, I realized this was a gift. I pride myself on doing a damn good job in my work, and doing the best I can, but I can’t please everyone. Thank goodness I realized this because it gave me relief. Not everyone will like me. Or be happy with me. AND THAT’S OKAY.

“Appreciate the constructive; ignore the destructive.” – John Douglas

Before I re-read the email, I burned sage, said a prayer for the messenger and myself, took a huge breath, and clicked “open.” This time my body wasn’t in fight or flight mode and I could read the words clearly without my emotions taking over. From this place, I plucked out the constructive feedback and bypassed the destructive criticism by taking deep breaths and staying present.

“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Aristotle

I’ve avoided criticism most of my life and have gone extra lengths to be in the “approval” zone. For many years I played it safe, stayed under the radar, limited my exposure, and sought out relationships and scenarios I could control. That is all shifting as my desire to create and expand grows, and I realize I can’t please everyone. My growing edge is to continue putting myself out there in spite of the familiar fear, “What will they think?”

“Sandwich criticism between two layers of praise.” –Mary Kay Ash

Before and after I re-read the email, I went through testimonials on my website and feedback from other women who attended the same retreat, whom had raving reviews. Their positive reviews shored up my strength and reminded me that I don’t suck at this, and I shouldn’t throw down my toys and quit because someone doesn’t like me or what I have to offer.

“The dread of criticism is the death of genius.” –William Gilmore Simms

Now I know in my bones that I can handle criticism. It’s part of putting myself out there. I can hide and stay safe or I can rise up and keep showing up. Keep improving. Keep being true to myself and sharing my gifts.

If someone doesn’t like me, I won’t crumble as a result. Criticism allowed me to face my fear head-on, and walk through it. Many women at my retreats courageously face their fears, and through this experience, I faced mine.

My old fear is replaced by growing strength and conviction that I can handle whatever comes my way.

Only when we face our fears can we overcome them.

How do you handle criticism? I’d love to know. Share in the comments below.

Grateful, stronger, and always learning,
Devon