How I Danced Away My Fear

Last Saturday night I called my friends to go out dancing and nobody was available.

I was bummed because I really wanted to go out, and my intuition was nudging me to dance. I couldn’t bear staying in another night, zoning out to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

I had a choice: take myself out dancing, or stay on the couch and ignore my intuition.

My ego piped in with all sorts of questions…Am I a loser if I go dancing by myself? What will people think? Will I look pathetic? What’s a 34 year-old woman doing out alone at the clubs on a Saturday night amidst 23 year-olds?

Before my ego completely took over, I got into action: I jumped in the shower, put on my favorite dress, and called an Uber.

The Uber dropped me off at the jazz club, El Chaputepec, and it was packed. The Rockies game had just let out and apparently everyone was in the mood for jazz. The live band was okay but it wasn’t the soul-riveting saxophone jazz I had hoped for.

I dipped out and headed across the street to Cowboy Lounge, a favorite go-to club for country music. I walked in, paid the $5 cover, took a deep breath, and smiled as I heard Garth Brooks’ song “Ain’t Going Down (‘Til the Sun Comes Up)” playing on the dance floor…..it was music to my ears, and I felt butterflies of excitement.

The moment I walked onto the dance floor, my uptight ego was drowned out by speakers blasting honky tonk guitar. As the music coursed through my body, “What will people think?” turned to “Who the hell cares, I love this song!”

My fear was replaced by the pure joy of doing what I love…dancing my a%$ off.

For the next 3 hours, I danced by myself, danced with partners, danced on the stage, and danced over to the bar to get water.

I stayed until the club lights came on, and went home tired, happy, and proud of myself for stepping outside my comfort zone and going out alone.

When I get an intuitive nudge, it’s guidance to do something good for my soul. My intuition guides me to challenge old beliefs, so I can evolve and grow and become the woman I’m meant to.

The result of NOT following my intuitive nudges? Stuck energy, unhappiness, feeling sorry for myself, and the depressing feeling of stifling my soul’s growth by letting fear run the show.

Dancing is good for my soul and my intuition knows that. Pre-Saturday night, my ego was latched onto the old belief that I need my friends to go out dancing and have fun.

My new belief is that I can go out dancing alone and have fun, and most importantly, I’M RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN JOY AND CAPABLE OF MAKING MYSELF HAPPY. It’s empowering and liberating to know that. 

I’d love to hear from you…..what is something in your life that you feel called to do but it’s outside your comfort zone?

Those intuitive nudges lead us to face our fears and that’s a good thing. By trying something new, we change our beliefs, and by changing our beliefs, we change our lives.

So, go out, and try something new….you’ll surprise yourself!

You can find me on the dance floor,

Devon

Just Jump: Why I Jumped out of a Plane

I checked an item off my bucket list. I jumped out of a plane that was 12,000 feet in the air. I went skydiving. It was terrifying and exhilarating.

As I turned on the dirt road toward Out of the Blue Skydiving in Calhan, CO, I peered up from my car windshield and spotted a plethora of colorful parachutes in the sky. My heart started racing as adrenaline pumped through my body. That would soon be me!

I parked the car and found the main office, where there was an instructional video to watch and a stack of of liability paperwork to review. I signed my life away and initialed 47 times that I was aware of the risks of jumping out of a small aircraft. Then I handed over $259 and walked outside to watch the next planeful of jumpers parachute to the ground.

A few minutes later, I met my tandem skydive instructor, Dave, a red-headed guy with a friendly smile and a strong handshake. He showed me the jumpsuit closet and my eyes immediately went to the hot pink suit. Not only was I going to fly in the sky but I could do it in hot pink!

Once I zipped up my suit, Dave helped me step into the harness and gave the first set of instructions, “You are going to grab these side straps and NOT the side of the plane as you jump out, cool?” “Cool,” I replied, with butterflies in my stomach.

Once our plane was ready for boarding, I was instructed to board first. I learned I was going to be the LAST one to jump out.

I got in the plane and slid all the way to the back so I was next to the pilot but facing the back of the plane. The pilot wore an oxygen mask which I learned is required if you fly above 10,000 feet, plus add 6,500 feet of Calhan, Colorado elevation.

Dave got in behind me and put me at ease with his relaxed demeanor and simple instructions. I watched as other jumpers, ages 25 – 65, climbed aboard the plane. They were all men with the exception of one other woman. I was the only tandem jumper.

I had no idea skydiving was a recreational sport but all these people owned their own parachutes, had their solo skydiving certificates, and jumped out of planes for fun on the weekends. I was in the midst of hardcore adrenaline junkies.

I couldn’t fully turn to face Dave, but I had some questions.

“How many times have you jumped?” I asked.

“17,000.”

“Wow, that’s a lot. What’s the most you’ve done in a day? ”

“22 jumps.”

“That’s crazy, weren’t you tired?”

“Yep, that was a long day…I started at 7am and jumped until 9pm.”

“Do I need goggles?”

“Yep, I’ve got them for you. Haha, everybody always asks about goggles.”

“Do I need to do anything while we’re in the air?”

“Nope, just relax and have fun.”

“Okay,” I gulped.

The other jumpers were laughing and doing safety checks on each other’s packs to make sure everything was in place. As the plane continued to rise, we hit turbulence and my stomach flipped…I was grateful to have only eaten a banana and a handful of almonds earlier. I was determined NOT to throw up on the other jumpers, Dave, or myself.

I noticed a No Farting sign next to the pilot and it made me crack up – skydivers have a sense of humor. As we approached the drop zone at 12,000 feet, everyone started high-fiving each other. I joined in, and felt grateful for the reassurance and camaraderie.

Then came time to make the leap. A jumper at the back of the plane lifted the door and one by one people started disappearing out of the plane in rapid succession.

Dave told me to start inching forward and before I knew it we were at THE DOOR.

In a relaxed, instructional voice he said “Okay, we’re going to walk up and don’t grab the side of the plane, hold on to your straps.” I nodded and shouted, “Okay!” The wind was super loud and it became impossible to carry on a conversation without shouting.

I had meant to thank the pilot for our safe flight, but it was too late…there was literally no turning back.

With fear and adrenaline at an all-time high, I took small steps toward the door.

I got to the edge, looked down, and terror hit. I was speechless and had no time to think. Next thing I knew we were out of the plane and falling….

I gasped but couldn’t catch my breath, the wind was hitting my face at 120 miles an hour.

Now I realized why they call it skydiving….you literally dive toward the earth!

After about 10 seconds I felt a tap on my arm and which was the signal to release my arms. That’s when I started to breathe and I was flying, not falling.

It was unlike anything I’d ever felt; flying through the air with the greatest of ease. It was the ultimate natural high. Dave was right, I could relax and have fun.

There was so much SKY.  The wind was carrying me and my body felt weightless. I couldn’t stop smiling and there was a permanent wind-eating grin on my face.

After the 45 second free fall, Dave instructed me to put my hands back on the shoulder straps and BOOM, the parachute ejected. The abrupt tug from above slowed our speed from flying to hanging.

I was hanging comfortably in my harness with my feet dangling 7,000 feet above the ground. Wow, what a view—similar to the views looking out of a plane but there was no plane, just open air.

My hands were cold as ice but I wasn’t ready to come down just yet. After about three minutes of soaring with the parachute, we began to steer toward the landing.

I had no idea where our landing spot was but luckily Dave did. He instructed me bring my knees up the closer we got to landing and said we might land on our rear ends.

As we rapidly approached the ground, two other guys ran up to assist. Turns out we didn’t need their help as Dave expertly guided the parachute and I landed on my feet!

He immediately untied me from him, then gave me a high-five and said “Great job!” I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face. What do you say to a stranger who just kept you safe as you fell 12,000 feet out of the air strapped to each other? All I could say was “thank you.”

Skydiving gave my courage muscle a huge workout and I felt strong and confident about facing other fears in my life. What I know for sure is the only way to overcome our fears is to face them….skydiving is great practice for feeling fear and making the leap anyway!

Whether it’s changing careers, speaking up for yourself, or jumping out of a plane, each time you face your fear, your confidence grows and you become less afraid and more alive.

“If I can stand in an open airplane doorway two-and-a-half miles above the ground and will myself to step into empty space, then I can do anything.” – Dave Stein

Take the leap, you’ll be glad you did.

Cowgirl/Skygirl,

Devon

Do What Scares You

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.”

Thanks, Henry David Thoreau, but what if I don’t have the confidence yet?

Here’s what I propose, “Go in the direction of your dreams….one shaky step at a time.”

“I’ve been afraid every single day of my life, but I’ve gone ahead and done it anyway.” – Georgia O’Keefe

When I was twenty-three, my dream was in the form of a blue-eyed boy named Nick in my real estate class.

He was gorgeous, and I mean the kind of piercing blue eyes that make a woman’s palms sweat and cheeks blush at the sight of him.

I can’t believe I learned anything in class but he was a damn good excuse to show up everyday (and to apply an extra layer of lip gloss every 20 minutes).

We didn’t exchange words for the whole three weeks, just a lot of stalking looks on my part and he threw a few casual glances my way.

At the end of week three, we took our final exams and I turned mine in. I looked around and noticed he wasn’t there.

Nick, where art thou Nick?

I booked it out of the lecture room and took off  down the hall, frantically looking around. It turned out that he was finishing the test in a nearby room, free of distractions.

I walked by, saw him alone, and fear struck my heart.

The universe had thrown me a bone…it was now or never.

My familiar inner critic voice reared her head but I did not listen. Instead, I reined in the huge surge of fear-fueled adrenaline and took action.

“You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky

I nervously walked into the room. Dreamy blue eyes looked up from his test and he did not smile.

Oh shit, what was I doing?

I smiled like a crazy woman and scampered over to the desk where he was sitting. Voice shaking, I blurted out “Hi, I’m Devon.”

He said hi and that his name was Nick. I already knew his name but I didn’t tell him that.

“Don’t mean to bother you, but, ummm, I don’t know if you’re spoken for or not but, ummmm, would you ever want to get coffee sometime?”

Then I shut my mouth and stopped stammering.

He grinned a little, put his pen down, and sat back in his chair. “Umm, haha, no I’m not spoken for and yeah, that sounds cool.”

I almost passed out, I was holding my breath at this point.

“Great!!! What’s the best way to get in touch with you?” OMG, I sounded like I was at a networking event.

“Here, I’ll give you my number.”

He wrote down his number and I tried to control myself. I walked backward right into a chair and almost fell over.

Blushing like wildfire, I sheepishly grinned and said, “Awesome, I’ll text you!” I spun around like I’d just won the lottery.

Walking outside, I spotted my car, got in, and started fist pumping. I was so PROUD of myself for going for it.

Nick and I ended up dating for two years.

The point is, I was a nervous wreck. If I had waited until confidence came, I would have been dead in the water because it never came.

Fear was pulsing through me but I took action. Instead of letting fear paralyze me, I used it for fuel.

I took one small step for womankind and one huge step for Devon.

My confidence muscles were weak and flabby at the time but they got their first real workout that day.

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

And I’ve been building the confidence muscles ever since. One day and one step at a time, in different areas of my life.

How do you build yours?

Is it saying “NO” to something you really don’t want to do?

Is it saying “YES” to something you normally never would do?

What’s something you could take action on that’s a complete 180 degree difference of what you’d normally do?

Instead of letting fear paralyze you, take advantage of the enormous energy it has behind it.

Channel it into action. Act on it and confidence will follow, I guarantee it.

So go talk to that person. Or leave a conversation that doesn’t feel good to you.

Email the person who has the amazing career you want to have someday, and ask to take them out to coffee.

Or ask the guy you’ve been crushing on to go out for coffee.

Sign up for the class at the nearby community college. Speak up in class, in the boardroom, or in the bedroom.

“Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.” – Anonymous

Here’s what I suggest:  Just GO in the direction of your dreams; trembling in your boots, or high heels, or tennis shoes.

Take action WITH a shaky voice, sweaty palms, and your heart pounding with fear of failure, being judged, looking stupid, the unknown.

If you’re scared to try something, that’s a good sign. That means it’s a risk worth taking and you are headed in the right direction.

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” – Joseph Campbell

So what do YOU think? Can you relate? Is fear keeping you from moving forward?

Your confidence will build over time but FIRST you gotta take action.

What’s one thing you can do this week to move forward toward your dream, in spite of fear?

I’d love to hear in the comments below so that I may support you!

Giddy up, and let’s do this,

Devon

What’s Your Manifesto?

Yesterday I drove through the sprawling New Mexico desert headed south to the Unbridled Arizona Retreat.

Two hours past Albuquerque, I got a hit of inspiration to share my manifesto after singing along to Steppenwolf’s “Born to be Wild,” and listening to a Podcast about lifestyle manifestoes.

Listen to my manifesto by clicking below:

 

What’s your life manifesto?

A manifesto is a declaration of what you believe, what you stand for and what’s important to you. It’s a mission statement for your life.

Here are some prompts to to create your manifesto…

What I live for is____________.

What lights my soul on fire is_______________.

What I can’t live without is_____________.

At the end of the day, ________, is all that really matters. 

I’d love to hear from you….share parts of your manifesto in the comments below.

What lights my soul on fire is driving through the desert and singing at the top of my lungs, while headed to a beautiful ranch to connect soul-searching women with intuitive horses.

Here’s to kicking up dust in the desert,

Devon

How to Embrace ALL of Who You Are

It’s been a month since I began boarding Detail and Playboy at a beautiful new barn and it’s freed up my time immensely. Detail is fed twice a day, Playboy is fed 3 times a day, and that’s 90 times someone else has fed my horses this past month. 90 times I didn’t have to put on muck boots or shake loose hay out of my shirt.

It’s an amazing feeling pulling up to the ranch and seeing the wonderful caretaker shoveling manure, and not me. Hiring others to care for my horses has drastically changed my days of “have-tos ” (shoveling manure, dumping manure, throwing bales of hay, raking up dropped hay, measuring grain, measuring supplements) into “want-tos” (equine coaching, grooming, riding). I get excited to drive to the ranch, and it’s liberating to come and go as I please.

I love living in Denver even more than I could have imagined. It’s surpising how quickly I’ve adapted to city life after hanging my hat on ranch life the past 3.5 years.

I’m grateful I followed my intuition to live in the country, and I learned a lot about myself during that time. I love wide open spaces and I’ll always need that in my life. I love horses and I’m passionate about equine coaching, but I’m not passionate about expending time and energy doing endless ranch chores.

I’m also dating again and I’ve come to the enlightening conclusion that I don’t need a man who loves horses and can ride. Does he need to like animals? Yes. Does he need to know how to saddle a horse or round up cattle? No. This makes the dating pool much wider.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

My world has expanded since I moved back to Denver and it’s been a substantial change. Parts of me are coming to the surface after being dormant the past few years. The part who likes to wear dresses and has a reason to shave my legs more than once in a blue moon. Who loves to soak in a bathtub (my new home has a clawfoot tub!), and listen to Diana Krall while sipping a glass of wine. The part who enjoys hosting friends for dinner (I’m learning how to cook) and has a full-size kitchen complete with a dishwasher.

Change is scary and it’s necessary. It’s what helps us evolve and grow into the person we are meant to become. It took months of tough soul searching and abrupt wake up calls to realize my soul was calling me to expand but my ego was resisting change. I’d been limiting myself and scared to move outside my comfort zone, and away from my familiar “country horsewoman” label. That will always be a  part of who I am, but it’s not all of who I am. By also embracing my inner “city woman,” I feel happier, and less confined.

“Every next level of your life will demand a different version of you.” – Author unknown 

We don’t have to be one way or another….when we give ourselves permission to embrace all of who we are, we feel WHOLE.

I’d love to hear from you…do you feel like you have completely opposite sides? Share in the comments below.

The urban cowgirl,

Devon