Do you struggle to find your passion? Try THIS…

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While scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed this morning, I stopped mid scroll when I came across Dr. Christiane Northrup’s post. (Side note, if you haven’t read her book “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom”, I suggest you do so immediately.)

She posted:

“What did you love when you were between nine and eleven years old?  Is that your profession or hobby now?”

I LOVE this topic and as a coach, I’m frequently asked by clients “How do I find my passion?”

The journey of finding your passion is not about finding it as much as uncovering it. Your passion is already an innate part of you. It may just be buried or you haven’t been in an environment where it’s fueled.

When I was between the ages of nine and eleven I was obsessed with horses.

I would wear cowgirl boots to school and t-shirts with cartoon horse characters (see pic below). A few other horse crazy girls and I would set up jumps aka picnic benches at recess and design courses. Then we’d “pick up a canter” and jump over the benches pretending we were horses.

horse girl dev

I loved riding horses just as much as I loved being with them. Caring for them. Grooming them. Being in the barn and listening to them eat hay. It was where I felt most like myself. It was in the presence of horses.

As I grew up, I strayed from my passion and put other priorities to the forefront. I lost sight of that horse loving girl. I lost myself.

I got derailed and my soul revolted. I developed an eating disorder which was the red flag for how far I’d ventured from what fulfilled me. As the universe would have it, I ended up at a treatment center in Arizona that had equine therapy. Through a non-linear path, I circled back to horses, but this time in a new way.

Haphazardly, my passion was reignited. 

However, it did NOT mean in that moment I had it all figured out.

But when I started re-engaging with my horse passion without stressing about figuring it all out, doors opened. Mentors appeared. Opportunities came my way. The same will happen for you when you re-engage with what you used to love.

The universe wants us to be fulfilled. Our childhood passions are clues on the trail to fulfillment. We must follow them.

Even if it’s not the “holy grail” answer right away, stoking the fire of what you used to love will always lead you in the right direction.

If you’re trying to find your passion, give yourself permission to explore and excavate. Go back. What did you love when you were nine to eleven years old?  If you can’t remember, ask a sibling or relative or get out an old photo album.  Your childhood passion is the compass to your fulfillment. 

So what did you used to love doing? Is it a part of your life now? I’d love to hear from you, share your experience in the comments below. 

The girl who now wears cowgirl boots to work,

Devon

How to get unstuck and make your dream happen

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As a coach, one of the most common things I hear from people is “I have a dream but I’m stuck on HOW to make it happen.”

I’ve been there too, and here’s what I’ve learned…

Check out the 5 steps for HOW to make your dream happen:

1. Ignore your Inner Critic

The more excited you feel about making your dream happen, the louder your inner critic will become. It wants you to stay in your comfort zone, aka stay stuck, and not take risks. It pipes up and says “You’re not good enough, you’re going to fail, you’re a fraud, you don’t know what you’re doing…” Sound familiar?

That voice is a NORMAL part of going for your dream and the key is to not buy into what it’s saying. The inner critic is a fearful, small-minded voice designed to hold you back and it’s not who you truly are. My inner critic still pipes up, like right now, “This blog post is too long, you’re not a great writer…blah,blah,blah) but I continue to take action in spite of it and that’s made all the difference.

“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L. Hay

2. Listen to your Intuition and not Naysayers

Whoever says you can’t do what you love and be successful, has never done it. To put it bluntly, don’t listen to them. When I exited my real estate career to pursue Unbridled Retreats full-time, well-intentioned friends, family and colleagues advised me to keep my real estate license “just in case” and “as a backup.”

But my intuition said something different. It told me to cut off the golden handcuffs and go for it. After a three and a half years of of building Unbridled Retreats and selling houses simultaneously, it was time to leave real estate behind. Your intuition will guide you step by step if you listen, trust, and follow it.

“Consider the track record of your naysayers. How many dreams have they successfully brought into this world?” – Sarah Ban Breathnach

3. Find a Mentor

My dream of Unbridled Retreats would not have happened without mentors.

A mentor is someone who has blazed the trail before you and has experience, advice, and wisdom on how to get from where you are, to where you want to be.

Most importantly, a mentor believes in you and inspires you to keep going. No matter what your dream is, there are people who have experience doing what you want to do. Here are my mentors:

Melisa Pearce is the creator of the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method, a savvy entrepreneur, and she lives the horsewoman dream. When I first arrived at her barn for my certification training, my jaw dropped as I looked around at the gorgeous horses, inspirational posters on the walls, and indoor arena with epic views of the Flatiron mountains. I thought, WOW, this woman is living her dream doing what she loves…it IS possible!

Melisa showed me the lifestyle that is possible by following your dreams and I soaked up as much knowledge as I could from her.

(Pic is at the International Equine Gestalt Coaching Summit where Melisa Pearce encouraged me to begin public speaking.)

Sally Hope is a former rockstar turned life coach and creator of the Wildheart Revolution. I met Sally at a life coach training and learned that she traveled the country in an RV, rocking her renegade life coaching business while writing inspiring blog posts.

Sally is like a kickass, empowered older sister. I immediately signed up for her coaching program and she showed me how to be authentic in my business, and successfully do things my own way.

(Pic is at Sally’s Wildheart Retreat in Montana which inspired me to lead my own retreats.)

“Show me a successful individual and I’ll show you someone who had real positive influences in his or her life. I don’t care what you do for a living—if you do it well I’m sure there was someone cheering you on or showing the way. A mentor.” — Denzel Washington

4. Volunteer

One of the best ways to get unstuck, is to get out of your head and help others. Google places and people who do what you want to do, and offer to be of service.

I volunteered at numerous therapeutic riding centers to gain experience, knowledge, and to get clear on the type of clients I wanted to serve. Volunteering gave me a purpose by helping others, and it was an effective way to gain experience in my dream career path.

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” — Mahatma Gandhi

5. Take one small step every day

There’s a lot of talk about the glorified “leap” of cutting ties and going for your dream. I’ll never forget the day I cashed my last real estate commission check and skipped out the sliding glass doors, but it was hundreds of small consistent action steps that led me to that moment. Take one small step everyday toward your dream…the steps add up.

“Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.” – Chinese Proverb

Your dream doesn’t happen overnight, but it will happen over time if you never give up, believe in yourself, get support, take risks, find a mentor, and take small actions each day.

I’d love to hear from you…which one of the five steps resonates with you the most? Post in the comments below!

Dreams do come true,

Devon

Devon in a field

How to become Unbridled

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Are you overworked, overscheduled, feeling contained, and wanting to break free?

It’s time to become Unbridled.

You’ve been holding onto the reins of life so tightly that your “sense of security” is robbing you of joy.

Time to gently let go, trust more and worry less, ease up on yourself and everyone around you. Life is not meant to be nonstop busy with scheduled activities…it’s meant to be enJOYed in the moment, with space for spontaneity, creativity, and self-expression.

Instead of listening to what your ego wants, ask what your soul needs.

Nature? Belly laughs? Live music? Swimming? Horses? Flowers? Silence? Sensuality? Dancing? Writing? Healing? Traveling? Creativity? Adventure?

Time to say YES to your intuitive nudges, and NO to other people’s expectations. Start listening WITHIN for answers, and stop looking OUTSIDE for other people’s approval.

You can work on a dude ranch, with free room and board, and be around horses all day. Or travel the world, stay in hostels, and work online. Downsize your stuff, upgrade your experiences, and break free of who you thought you had to be.

Becoming Unbridled, Devon in a field

There are many ways to live the life your soul is calling you toward. Time to think outside the box, trade conformity for authenticity, and leave the monotonous routine behind in exchange for the adventure of being alive.

Step out of the confining comfort zone, release the golden handcuffs, and become the unbridled woman you were born to be.

She is calling your name…are you listening?

Your Unbridled guide,

Devon 

The #1 Thing to Do to Follow Your Dreams

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Do you know the biggest difference between people who are living their dreams and those who aren’t?

It’s TAKING ACTION AND GOING FOR IT IN SPITE OF FEAR, plus the ability to tolerate risk, uncertainty and feeling uncomfortable for a while.

There are no guarantees in life and none of us know what the trail ahead looks like…that’s part of the adventure.

If you keep doing the same things over and over, you’re going to get exactly what you’ve always gotten.

And I have a feeling you want more…

The #1 Thing to Do to Follow Your Dreams

To reach new ground and experience change, you must take risks, step into the unknown and have FAITH. Trust yourself; trust the universe; trust whatever you believe in.

People, situations, and opportunities will swoop in when you let go of the familiar and take small steps toward what you want in life.

You can overthink, overplan, overanalyze (aka talk yourself out of it) but GOING FOR IT makes your dreams happen.

Enough planning and thinking about it…if your heart is beating fast and your palms are sweaty, that’s a good thing, you’re ready…take a deep breath and GO FOR IT.

I’d love to hear from you, what’s one small step you’re taking today to move toward your dreams and go for it? Share in the comments below.

Devon 

 

P.S. Don’t miss out on the upcoming Unbridled Retreats. Check them out HERE

7 Solutions to Give Your Fears the Boot

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Giving your fears the boot is a skill and a practice. Your fears have most likely have been with you for a long time, but they DO NOT have to control your life.

Here are 7 solutions to help you confront and overcome your fears…

1. WRITE A LETTER TO YOURSELF FROM YOUR FEAR

Acknowledge your fear. Give it a voice. By consciously allowing your fear to be heard, you’ll understand it’s “job”. Your fear may have served you in the past—protected you from failing, kept you from embarrassment, saved you from pain, etc. Now, your fear may be holding you back. When you acknowledge your fear and understand where it’s coming from, you can decide if your fear is serving you, or if it’s time to let it go.

Example:
Dear Devon,
As your fear, I’m holding you back to protect you from potential rejection. I’m keeping you safe from feeling rejected like you felt 14 years ago, when you told Will you loved him and he broke up with you.

“If you try to get rid of fear without knowing its meaning, it will grow stronger and return.” – Deepak Chopra

2. TAKE SMALL STEPS EVERY DAY

Instead of letting fear paralyze you from taking action, take advantage of the enormous energy it holds within it. Channel your fear into action by taking small courageous steps each day; make the call, write the email, sign up for the class, speak up in the group, or the boardroom. Each time you take a small action in spite of fear, you build self-confidence which is the #1 key to overcoming fear.

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

3. UNDERSTAND THAT PERFECTION ONLY EXISTS IN THE MIND

Being perfect is an illusion sold to us by magazines, commercials, and social media—we’re influenced by the opinions of others of who we think we should be. Give yourself permission to BE YOU! Allow yourself to make mistakes, understanding that every mistake is a lesson learned. Fear of making mistakes is ultimately fear of making progress. You will make mistakes…we all do. EMBRACE IT! Set yourself free from the illusion of being “perfect”. Making mistakes is the fastest way to learn, grow, and achieve your dreams.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard

4. MOVE YOUR BODY

Fear creates stale energy in your body, which generates tension and stress. Physical activity keeps your energy flowing and dissipates negative thoughts. When your energy flows, your fears decrease. Physical activity makes you feel more confident by achieving tangible goals. Choose an activity that gets you out of your head and gets your heart rate going, such as jogging, power walking, dancing, biking, or yoga.

“Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person’s physical, emotional, and mental states.” – Carol Welch

5. MEDITATE

When you meditate, you quiet the monkey chatter of your mind which can be filled with habitual fear-based thoughts. Meditation connects you to your intuition, which is your internal GPS. Meditation teaches you to live in the present moment, and release fear and worry about the past or the future. For a simple guide on How to Meditate, CLICK HERE.

“A quiet mind is able to hear intuition over fear.” – Yvan Byeajee

6. SHARE YOUR FEARS

When you share your fears aloud, it diffuses the debilitating grip they have on you. Talk to a trusted friend, partner, life coach or counselor about your deepest fears. Notice how it feels to share your fears aloud, bringing them out of the dark and into the light. By exposing your fears, they lose their power.

“We should never let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes.” – John F. Kennedy

7. VISUALIZE THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME

Your fear tends to imagine the worst possible outcome, which then becomes your new belief of what will happen. Instead, flip the script! Visualize the best possible outcome of what you fear. If you fear public speaking, imagine yourself receiving a standing ovation. If you fear starting a business, visualize yourself earning a living doing what you love. Your body doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. By consistently visualizing your ideal outcome, you embody it.

“Visualizing a positive outcome will allow you to grow in confidence of the situation because you can believe that things will go well.” – Ryan McLean

Life is NOT about being fearless. It’s about being courageous—acknowledging the presence of your fears, and persevering in spite of them.

By reading this, you’re already on the trail to overcoming your fears. Be patient. Have faith. Trust yourself. And know that you are courageous.

I’d love to hear from you…which solution will you apply to give your fears the boot? Share in the comments below!

Giddy up,

Devon

BONUS! Click here to download and print out 7 Solutions to Overcoming Your Fears, to keep on your desk as a daily reminder.