Self Care 101—Make Your Bed and Lift Your Mood

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The Best Way to Start Your Day

The #1 habit I began to change my disorganized mess into tidy success was making my bed every day. Now, it’s a non-negotiable for me that starts every morning off right. It’s amazing how a daily 60-second act has changed my self-perception. Achieving this simple task each day gives me an instant feeling of accomplishment and organization which impacts my mental health and state of well-being.

Making my bed is an act of self-care that has positively affected my other habits. Succeeding in this daily task has improved my attitude along with my general outlook on life.

Better Productivity 

Charles Duhigg writes in his book, The Power of Habit, “Making your bed every morning is correlated with better productivity, a greater sense of well-being, and stronger skills at sticking with a budget.” Making your bed is what he calls a “keystone habit,” something that kick starts a pattern of other good behavior. And since it happens at the very beginning of the day, you’re apt to make better decisions for the remainder of the day thanks to your bed-making routine.

My newfound daily bed-making routine has turned into other productive habits in my home. I now put my laundry away instead of letting it sit in the dryer or hamper, and I rarely leave dishes in the sink overnight. I also started mucking the horse pen in the morning so it’s checked off my to-do list early in the day, freeing up more time in the afternoon.

I found completing this daily task turned into completing more and more tasks. By making my bed, I began to perceive myself as a more productive and present person. My habits started to become more organized. Making your bed can stimulate a chain of positive action steps in other areas of your life. 

Increases Happiness and Lifts your Mood

“When I was researching my book on happiness, making your bed was the number one most impactful change that people brought up over and over,” says author Gretchen Rubin. Turns out, people are happier when everyday tasks in their lives are completed!

Making your bed is also a simple act of self-care. How you live in your home matters to your well-being. Creating for yourself a feeling of being cared for helps lift your mood and lighten your emotional burdens.

I also became aware of a growing sense of worthiness. I asked myself don’t I deserve to have a clean space that I feel happy being in? Yes. Before I took on this new habit, I would have brushed off that question, feeling silly for asking it. Self-care is an act of valuing ourselves and putting ourselves first so we can thrive and have the strength and sense of self-worth that allows us to be there for others.

In times of uncertainty and stress, it’s the small, actionable steps which matter more than ever. Making your bed can have a significant impact on your sense of accomplishment and can be the start of an empowering self-care routine. 

It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect!

I don’t fold my bed into neat little military corners. However, I do pull on the comforter and make it smooth and clean. I plump up the pillows so they look pretty and I fold the cozy grey blanket (my cat Charley’s favorite place to lay) so it sits at the bottom of the bed. Now, when I walk into my bedroom I feel energized and organized. My neatly-made bed acts as the foundation for my confidence and empowers me to feel I can take on any task that comes my way that day. 

Do you make your bed every day? I’d love to hear from you! Share your bed-making habits in the comments below.

Love,
Devon 

8 Reasons to Go on a Women’s Retreat

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Women are choosing to attend women’s retreats more and more as a way to find inspiration, purpose and community, while engaging in fun activities and exploring new, beautiful locations.

According to Pamela Madsen, author of Shameless, “Women are on a mission to find something bigger in their own lives. And though retreats can be an investment, for many women, taking a retreat is not considered a luxury item. Instead, retreat taking has become a part of their ritual self-care; carefully scheduled into their yearly calendar.”

Here are our 8 of our top reasons to attend the Unbridled Retreat for Women:

1. Self-Care

Many women are so busy taking care of others (parents, children, partner, business, the dog and cat) that they don’t take the time to take care of themselves. Retreats are restorative — you are able to recharge and reset your internal compass to take better care of YOU, so you can be there for others without feeling drained. As Pamela Madsen suggests, planning a yearly women’s retreat is a great way to ensure you stay connected with you — mind, body and soul.

 

2. To Find Purpose

There are times in our lives that we feel unaligned or lost in our purpose. As life transitions take place, it is easy to lose sight of what our purpose is or how to meaningfully achieve a new purpose. You may have thought that you were fulfilling it for the past decade, but now you’re feeling an inner nudge that it’s time for a change. Equine Coaching is one of the powerful ways that Unbridled Retreats empowers women to gain clarity about purpose and provide the tools to design a positive future.

I have a hard time putting into words how profound and transformational my experience at Unbridled was. My friends describe it as Pre-Retreat Kristin and Post-Retreat Kristin. Even after almost two months, the positive shifts I experienced with Devon, the horses, and the women remain. Post-Retreat, I feel unstuck, unlocked in a way I never have. I have a new hope, courage, and vision for my life. — Kristin Cooper, Oregon

3. Time with Horses

Horses are gifted teachers and guides. These gentle beings are loving and intuitive animals who reflect back to you the truth about who you are and how you operate in the world. During each day at the retreat, you’ll bond with horses unmounted in both the private arena and in the saddle on the trails, surrounded by the beauty of wide open spaces.

I witnessed amazing transformations and awe-inspiring equine interactions. If you doubt a horse’s intuition and their ability to heal, you will come away with a new appreciation for these gentle giants. — Laura Rubin, Colorado

 

4. Spiritual Renewal

By deepening and exploring your relationship to yourself, horses, and your chosen spiritual source, you’ll experience much-needed inner peace. Time in nature is a powerful catalyst to reconnect with your true nature, and unplug from the distractions and stresses of daily life. As Albert Einstein once said, “Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.”

 

5. Healing

Attending a retreat can support you in beginning to heal from a difficult personal experience like a death or divorce. and provide you with the opportunity to process your emotions in a safe, non-judgmental environment. The Unbridled Retreat offers a beautiful and supportive space to work through pain from the past with the healing power of horses.

As I shared my story with the women and horse surrounding me, I was offered comfort with nuzzles on my neck as I sobbed and was able to release some deep pain. The horses are so intuitive and so strong. They stand in their power and have open hearts if you open yours to them. I would recommend this experience to any woman! It truly is a beautiful, loving, safe space to unpack past hurts and begin to grow into your most authentic and brave self. — Sara Wood, Colorado

6. Female Camaraderie

Even if you regularly connect with your girlfriends, women’s retreats offer a unique opportunity to meet other growth-minded women, specifically women who are drawn to horses. For many participating in these retreats, the activities are outside the norm, which encourages faster bonding and deeper conversations. Many retreat attendees keep in touch with their “Unbridled sisters” long after the retreat ends and become lifelong friends!

The most powerful and life-changing retreat for women! It came at the perfect time in my life. To connect with other like-minded women while spending beautiful days outdoors with horses was epic. I am forever grateful to all of the women who attended this retreat. Life-long friends were made, and I’m beyond excited to attend another retreat in the future. — Courtney Blackburn, California

7. To Experience Something New

The retreat gives you the opportunity to try something different, to step outside your comfort zone and experience yourself in a new way. It’s not only a change of scenery — it’s the perfect backdrop for transformation. From yoga by the creek to cattle roundups, Unbridled Retreats are more than just equine coaching — they include workshops to dive into your heart’s desires, and happy hours with your newfound sisterhood.

8. To Connect with What You Love

Spend time in nature, expand your mindset in new and refreshing ways, and reconnect to what brings you joy. Attending a retreat can help you recommit to focusing on your own happiness and remember how to have fun!

I returned home from the Unbridled Retreat with a buoyant heart and a sense of self-respect that I hadn’t felt in years. I’d left my fear in the dust and had a ton of fun in the process! — Deborah Donohue, California

 

A Women’s Retreat can be the “life reset” you’ve been looking for to give you a positive boost. Sound like what you need? Join us for an upcoming Unbridled Retreat!

Book Now

Is your relationship with your body based on CONTROL?

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My relationships have changed drastically in the past sixteen years.

First, is my relationship with horses. Second, is my relationship with my body.

Both of these relationships are now based on a two-way street of communication, mutual respect, trust and compassion.

I grew up in the ego-dominated world of showing horses competitively where it was strictly a one-way street of communication. The horse had to do what I demanded in order to “look good” and receive external validation from the show judges so we could beat the competition.

Even though my body was in the saddle, I was mostly “riding and living in my head”. When my horse would act up, giving me feedback that he was confused or frightened, I would grit my teeth and do what I was taught, which was to tighten the reins and get my horse under control immediately.

As the rider, I was programmed to be in control at all times and make my horse do what I wanted.

The thing is, this was the exact relationship I had with my body for many years. I controlled my body by “holding onto the reins” as tightly as I could. I accomplished this through extreme restriction and desperately trying to look perfect to receive the external validation that my ego craved.

Always in a matter of time, my body would revolt and act up out of hunger and exhausted, I’d “drop of the reins” momentarily. This allowed me to buck and kick and run wild, eating everything in sight. Then I would capture my body and beat it back into submission through purging and then depriving it of any basic needs or nourishment.

Whew, I think back on the amount of energy it took me to keep my horse AND my body under control and it was a constant struggle which turned me into a shell of a person.

Through my personal journey of healing from an eating disorder, I discovered the profound impact of listening to my body. This gift was uncovered in my treatment process, through partnering with horses in an experiential way, with no agenda.

By connecting with horses and with the help of Marla Kuhn, my equine therapist, I learned to ground myself, experience emotional clearing and healing and stay present which allowed me to tune into my body. This was not about horsemanship at all, but about listening…to what the horse was communicating and to what my body was communicating.

Today, I no longer “tighten the reins” when I get scared and desperate to control things. I tune into what my body is communicating to me through awareness and quieting my mind. Then I can decipher what it is I need in that moment; many times it has nothing to do with food!

Horses have taught me the profound impact of a two-way street in a relationship. This is the juncture in which healing occurs, in all of our relationships.

In loving partnership,
Devon

How to Meditate in 7 Simple Steps

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“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” – Lao Tzu

Horses live in the present moment. They aren’t worried about the fight they had with their spouse yesterday, or what the weather will be tomorrow. Because they live in the moment, their natural state is peace and serenity.

Horses are great meditation teachers.

Science shows that meditation lowers stress, increases mental clarity, and improves sleep. My favorite benefit of meditation is it quiets the monkey chatter in our mind so we can listen to our intuition.

When we are NOT present, we miss out on the richness of life; the smell of our dog’s fur as we hug him, the way the sun feels on our skin, a smile from a loved one, the flavor of dark chocolate as we savor every bite.

By training our mind to live more in the present moment, we stop seeking peace and serenity, and realize it’s right here, right now.

Below is a guide for getting started…

How to Meditate in 7 Simple Steps

 

1. Sit upright comfortably.
If you’re like me and you try to meditate while lying down, you’ll fall asleep. Instead, sit in a comfortable chair with an upright back, get a meditation cushion, or fold a pillow and sit cross-legged on it, which will help support your back.

2. Breathe Deeply.
Ah, the breath, the wonderful breath. It’s our ANCHOR to the present moment and a tool available at all times. Start by taking 10 deeps breaths and counting to 5 during each exhale and inhale. Allow your lungs to fill up as you inhale (it feels good to take a deep inhale) and then slowly exhale through your nose, allowing your shoulders to drop. Repeat.

3. Gently close your eyes.
If you’re not doing so already, I suggest closing your eyes to help you focus. It’s easy to give your mind an excuse to wander when you are staring at laundry that needs to be done.

4. Slowly scan your body, and notice any sensations.
I love this step because it’s checking in with our body. How many times a day do we ask others, “How are you?” A lot. How many times a day do we ask our body, “How are you?” Hardly ever. It’s an opportunity to check in with your body which is an effective way to bring you into the present moment. Start by focusing on your feet and moving up to the top of your head. Notice if there is tension anywhere, and if there is, consciously send your breath in the direction of that body part.

5. Be aware of any thoughts you are having.
Do you ever get stuck in overthinking? Here’s a chance to notice your thoughts WITHOUT getting roped in by them. Imagine each thought is like a cloud in the sky and you’re the observer. Notice what thoughts are present, “I need to call my mom, I have to go to the grocery store”. Allow each thought to come up, and pass by, without any judgment or attachment.

6. When your mind wanders, focus on your breath.
When your mind wanders, which it will, come home to your breath. Your breath is the the number one tool to help you stay grounded, connected, and focused in the moment. When you focus on your breathing, your heart rate slows down, your mind begins to quiet, and your body can relax.

7. Gently open your eyes when you are ready.
I suggest practicing meditation for 5-10 minutes in the beginning. The best time of day to do it is in the morning, BEFORE having coffee, if you’re a caffine consumer. Connecting to your breath will set the tone for your day. It’s a positive and empowering tool to practice beyond the pillow, and throughout the day. Even if you don’t have an opportunity to close your eyes, you can practice conscious breathing during a meeting, in a traffic jam, or in a conversation.

For a printable checklist of How to Meditate in 7 Simple Steps, CLICK HERE.

You can post the printable checklist in your bedroom, or by your desk, as a reminder to meditate.

For guided meditations, check out HeadSpace which is an easy-to-use app that walks you through a series of 10 minute meditations.

I’d love to hear from you….have you ever tried meditation? What’s been your experience? Share in the comments below.

Inhale…1, 2, 3, 4, 5…Exhale…1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

Devon

A Reminder to Breathe

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None of us are raised to think about our breathing. We assume breathing just comes naturally. Some cultures, and religions, and scientific studies, however, show us the significant benefits of bringing awareness to your breath.

When we take short breaths, we tend to be disconnected from our physical sensations and stuck in our head—overthinking, uptight, and stressed. This physical and mental tightness wreaks havoc on our bodies and our lives, making us sick, unhappy, and anxious.

Getting out of your head and into your body allows you to become more present. Equine Gestalt Coaching shows us how to be present in our breath through horses. Horses live completely in the present. They’re not depressed about what happened in the past or anxious about what could happen in the next five minutes. They are fully present in all of the sensations and solidity of now. When we emulate them and become present through focus on our breathing, we bring our awareness to the moment. We let go of worries and anxiety. We become present.

Being present is particularly important when you’re working with a 1,200-pound animal. When my clients are connecting one-on-one with horses, I remind them to breathe into their emotions.

When we deny our emotions, we create physical symptoms in our body. Emotions are energy and that energy has to go somewhere. If we suppress our emotions, that withheld emotional energy will manifest and can disrupt our well-being throughout our lives.

I learned this through firsthand experience. In the past when I would have a feeling of anger, upset or unhappiness, grief, or sadness, (any emotion that wasn’t happy or upbeat), I would suppress and deny these “negative” emotions. I did not breathe into them. I didn’t acknowledge them. I didn’t give them air. I didn’t release them. I didn’t know how. All of those emotions were trapped and manifested in my body as an eating disorder which allowed me to maintain the illusion of control. I was able to hide my emotions in a very unhealthy way for a period of years. My suppressed emotions did explode later on, and my mental health was deeply affected.

When I learned to breathe allowing new energy in with each inhale, and pushing old energy out with each exhale, my body started to release and soften, and I was finally able to process my emotions and let them go. This is the action and the outcome I share with my clients to anchor them in the moment. When you breathe into and out of your sadness, your sorrow, your fear, your disappointment, your joy, or your happiness, new energy cycles through your body and old energy is released.

Breathing is especially important when you’re with a horse. As a prey animal, a horse can immediately sense if you’re not breathing normally. If you’re feeling fear, you get tense, and your body tightens; the horse feels your energy. When you get tense and tighten up, the horse mirrors your energy and gets tight and tense—the horse is directly responding to your energy field.

One of my favorite sayings to clients is “breathe and smile!” The moment I speak those words, their bodies start to relax, a smile crosses their face, and they lighten up. When that change occurs, the horses visibly relax. It’s a chain reaction, a cause and effect. When you’re breathing and you’re in the moment, you are calm, inviting, and open to people and the horses you interact with. 

Where in your life can you practice taking deeper breaths?

I’d love to hear….share in the comments below!

Breathe with me. Inhale 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, exhale, 1, 2 ,3 ,4, 5, and relish this present moment of your life.

Devon