My legacy is to bring the healing power of horses to others in need.
I was blessed to grow up with horses, although at the time I didn’t realize just how lucky I was. Both of my parents are horse people. Every Sunday we would go to the pasture across from my grandparents’ home and ride horses around the lake. My pony was named Chindy.
At the time I didn’t appreciate the gift of horses because I wasn’t given a choice to ride, it was my parents decision. My eight-year-old self wanted to do other things like play soccer and hang out with my friends. However, that all changed in fourth grade when Brynie and Dina, the cool girls, started to take riding lessons at a fancy barn called High Prairie Farms in Parker, Colorado. I was invited to take riding lessons with them, and I became hooked. I loved going to the barn for lessons every Friday after school. I loved the ritual of riding and the riding uniform—paddock boots, leather chaps and helmet.
I began taking riding lessons once a week and my obsession with horses started to develop. By the time I was 11 years old I identified completely with the riding culture.
When I wasn’t taking riding lessons at High Prairie Farms, I was riding Chindy at my grandparent’s house and spending a lot of time on the necessary chores of mucking, grooming, and feeding. I didn’t mind the work at all; I wanted to spend as much time as possible with my four-legged friends. Brynie and Dina quit riding, but I kept going. The horse force inside me was strong and there was no turning back. “Horse Girl” became my identity, and the barn was a safe haven where I could truly be myself.
At age 14, I started working with a new trainer, Jim, who helped me get accepted into Pony Club. I began competing in three-day eventing which was a blast. Some of my favorite memories were at Pony Club rallies and cross country jumping with one of my closest friends, Brooke. My big, beautiful, chestnut gelding Rooney was my constant companion from the age of 12 to 17. We won one horse trial. Rooney didn’t always like to jump (resulting in a broken nose for me during one attempt). My love for horses and my horse-life identity was growing every year.
I continued riding up until the end of high school, when I made the choice to go to the University of California in Santa Barbara. I envisioned living by the beach and marrying a surfer guy. I had decided it was time to move forward and explore a life beyond horses. I sold my horse and went to college. At the time I was a perfectionist with control issues and the consequences of these characteristics were starting to show. Being so far away from home without my horse, my friends, or my family led to a deep depression.
The dorm rooms were not a safe haven as the barn had been. I began numbing my feelings through bulimia which quickly became a daily routine. This helped me feel more in control, numbing my discomfort but it also kept me from a social life and affected my studies. After six months in California, I dropped out of college and returned to Colorado. I attended Colorado State University briefly, but at that point, my obsession with food and numbing my emotions ran my life. I thought joining the polo team at CSU would be helpful because I’d be around horses, but it wasn’t the same.
Riding horses wasn’t the answer—I was out-of-control and facing addiction. I tried to escape. I dropped out of college and went to New Zealand thinking if I went halfway around the world, I could run-away from my eating disorder.
Waitressing in Queenstown in the South Island, the bulimia continued. I moved again, to the North Island, thinking if I worked on a horse farm in small town Raglan maybe being around horses could fix me. I got a job as the head groom of a hare hunting stable and I was riding four or five horses every day. It was beautiful country, the riding was great, but again, my soul craved more than riding horses. I felt lost and confused and I knew I needed to heal from the inside out.
I ended my work visa early and came back to Colorado feeling like a failure, ashamed at my attempts to escape my problems. I was self-sabotaging, which landed me in a hospital, then a mental institution, then Mirasol, a holistic eating disorder treatment center in Arizona.
Mirasol offered equine therapy to help patients. I’d never heard of equine therapy, but I knew that “equine” meant I’d be around horses again. When I showed up at the treatment center in Arizona, it was unlike the sanitary mental institution feel of the hospital. There were no fluorescent lights, only natural sunshine and a beautiful hacienda that had been converted into an inviting treatment center. I immediately felt my soul take a deep breath, and I knew this was where my healing was meant to happen.
I looked forward to the equine therapy sessions and I was excited to be around horses again. I volunteered to be the first to go in a session and I stepped into the round pen with a horse named Jack. There were no bridles, no saddles—this was not about riding, this was something different. Marla, the equine therapist, told me to go to Jack and connect with him. I confidently walked right up to him and he walked away. He turned his butt to me and walked as far away as he could! I stood there feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Even the horse didn’t want to be with me at this point of my addiction and self-destruction. I didn’t blame him.
Marla saw my pain and told me to ground myself in the dirt and take long, deep breaths. As I began to connect and root to the earth, I felt a wave of emotion come from deep within me. For the first time in my 21 years of life, I could not control my emotions. The tears began leaking out of my eyes and I started sobbing. The moment my authentic emotions were released, Jack turned and looked at me and then immediately walked over and placed his gentle muzzle in my heart.
I was wailing and sobbing and Jack stood with me through my pain, not moving. He stood with me and offered unwavering strength, support, and unconditional love. I was shocked, experiencing a deep love and connection I had never known. Jack accepted me exactly as I was, and that’s what my soul needed. In that moment, everything changed. My relationship with horses stopped being ego-based, and instead began to emanate from my heart. Jack’s presence and love had shifted my vibration and I felt open, hopeful, and eager to share more of my authentic self with the world, a feeling I’d never had before.
That moment in the round pen opened up my heart and my past and started me on the path to helping others through the healing power of horses. I finished my 60-day treatment at Mirasol and returned home full of hope and purpose. I soon was introduced to a training program that taught coaching with horses and I immediately signed up to attend. It seemed that the universe had placed in my hands the ideal education. I was excited and passionate about learning to help others through horses in a healing way. I became an avid student, always studying (something I had never done in college). I now had a purpose— to connect people with horses for healing, self-discovery, and empowerment.
My bulimia had subsided and my energy was redirected with intense focus into my newfound passion. I began volunteering at therapeutic riding centers, immersing myself in the equine coaching world. I had found my calling. Horses had been by my side throughout my life, patiently waiting, but it wasn’t until my darkest days that I saw their light and was pulled me out of my dark tunnel of despair.
It became my life’s purpose and living legacy to help others experience the love, support, and acceptance found in connecting with horses—it’s an authentic connection unlike any other relationship. Several years later I founded Beyond the Arena and then Unbridled Retreats. With horses as my partners, we help people access their inner wisdom during coaching sessions and horse retreats to take back into their everyday lives. This happens without judgment, through love and pure honesty. After a lifetime spent with horses, I am still in awe of their gentle patience, and their ability to teach all of us about ourselves.
Have you been transformed by horses? Share your experience in the comments below.
With love,
Devon
Grieving the loss of my relationship
/in Dating and Relationships/by Unbridled RetreatsI currently have my laptop on my right and The Right to Write by Julia Cameron, on my left. I also have my phone playing Tim Wheater’s flute music which the book suggests. I know two things for sure in this moment: number one, I feel called to write and number two, I’m stuck on what to write about. There are a few significant topics in my life right now and I’m scared to write about them. The biggest topic that keeps coming up and brings tears to my eyes in this moment, is my recent breakup.
It jolts me when I think too long and hard about it. The loss of a wonderful man in my life. The loss of our dreams together. The pain and ache in my heart that hits when I think about the memories we shared. The gut-wrenching feeling before I open my eyes in the morning, knowing he’s not there.
The grief is raw and the tears come in waves.
For the first time in my life, when someone says. “How are you doing?”, I don’t answer “Fine” or “Good.” Instead, tears start to leak before words come out. My body won’t let me hide the truth.
I can’t deny how I feel and my vulnerability defenses are down.
My mantra fluctuates multiple times a day between “You’re going be ok” to “God, please help me.” I have wailed into Blue’s mane. I have screamed in my car. I have beaten and sobbed into pillows.
It feels messy and cleansing at the same time…allowing my heart to ache and express itself. I’m not shoving down the feelings I don’t want to face like I have in the past.
What I am learning is to let grief move through me. To not resist it or put an expiration date on sadness.
I’m not in the place of “getting over it”, nor is it time to move on. It is time to honor and mourn the heart-opening love I experienced. Grief is teaching me to listen to my heart and what it needs. I know “Strong Devon” and in recent years I’ve gotten to know “Soft Devon” but “Openly Sad and Hurting Devon” is a new one for me. Allowing my sadness to be heard, seen, and acknowledged is what my heart needs to heal.
By writing about it, I no longer feel stuck. I feel open and connected.
“Grief is a matter of the heart and soul. Grieve your loss, allow it in, and spend time with it. Suffering is the optional part. Love never dies and spirit knows no loss. Keep in mind that a broken heart is an open heart.” – Lousie Hay
Allowing it in,
Devon
Top 5 tips for Well-Being
/in Health and Wellness/by Unbridled RetreatsAre you going through a rough time, feeling out of whack, or just want some tools to feel better in general?
Check out my TOP 5 TIPS FOR WELL-BEING…
BE IN NATURE
“In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.” – John Muir
Being in nature is an efficient healing source and a quick way to shift your mood. Go barefoot in your backyard and feel the grass under your feet. Walk in your local park and look up at the trees. Visit a garden and literally smell the roses. Notice the colors, aromas, and diversity of nature.
On my daily walks, I’m reminded of the abundance of the universe, and it lifts my spirits and clears my mind.
SHARE HOW YOU FEEL
“Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”- Brene Brown
This can be a hard one for many people who try to appear to “have it together all the time”. I’m going to let you in on a secret….NOBODY DOES! I used to be a master of hiding how I felt and it was working with horses that taught me to share my authentic self.
Keeping your true feelings buried causes you to feel alone which can lead to depression. Call a friend, family member (my sister is my go-to), or visit an Equine Coach or therapist. When you share how you feel with a trusted confidante (person or animal), you instantly feel lighter, more connected, and not so alone.
JOURNAL
“What a comfort is this journal. I tell myself to myself and throw the burden on my book and feel relieved.” – Anne Lister
Writing down your thoughts and feelings is a healthy outlet for them to be released. It can give you a new perspective, and it’s a powerful way to reflect on what is and isn’t working in your life.
My favorite journaling practice is Julia Cameron’s “Morning Pages” exercise of writing three pages each morning. I love stream-of-consicousness journaling of downloading all my thoughts and feelings through the pen.
MOVE YOUR BODY
“Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person’s physical, emotional, and mental states.” – Carol Welch
Crank the music and dance in your kitchen, or go to the gym and sweat it out. Nothing gets you out of your head, and into your body faster than raising your heart rate.
Even when I don’t feel like it, I make it a priority to exercise at least 15 minutes 4 to 5 times a week and I ALWAYS feel better and more energetic afterward.
MEDITATE
“Suffering is due to our disconnection with the inner soul. Meditation is establishing that connection.” – Amit Ray
Take 5 to 15 minutes each day to sit, close your eyes, and observe your breath. It helps relieve anxiety, and connects you to your inner guidance. By meditating regularly, you develop the ability of observing your thoughts instead of your thoughts controlling you.
I love guided meditations because they help keep my mind from wandering all over the place. I highly recommend the Headspace Meditation app for simple 10 minute guided meditations.
We ALL feel out of whack at times and by integrating these tools, you can experience more balance and increased well-being.
I’d love to hear from you….what practice or tools do you use to stay balanced and feel better? Share in the comments below.
To your well-being,
Devon
Allowing myself to cry
/in Health and Wellness/by Devon CombsIn my experience, allowing myself to cry is healthy.
“Crying is good for the soul. It means something needs to be released. And if you don’t release the something, it just weighs you down until you can hardly move.” ― Erin Entrada Kelly
In the past 18 hours, I’ve cried 2 separate times – one was a stress cry and one was a gratitude cry.
The stress cry happened in my therapists’ office yesterday as I was sharing/downloading recent challenges that had been building up emotionally and mentally about running my business.
The tears started pouring out as I hit a tender topic and I didn’t hold back. Once I cried and my pain was witnessed with no judgement – only support – I immediately felt a lot lighter afterwards. Like two tons of weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I didn’t even realize how heavy the stress I’d been carrying was until I cried and released it. My mind felt lighter and my emotions had been honored. That’s a stress cry for me.
The second cry happened this morning when I was reading feedback forms that 2 Unbridled clients filled out about their experience in the Living Unbridled Program for alumni. Their words touched my soul, I felt immense gratitude and a literal overflowing of love pouring outward from my heart. The tears came easily and effortlessly and I felt a softening in my body. That’s a gratitude cry for me.
Growing up I thought crying meant being vulnerable and being vulnerable meant being weak so I did everything I could to avoid being perceived as weak. That led me to an eating disorder and a dark path that almost ended my life in my early 20s. It was the healing power of horses that taught me crying is ok, healthy, and necessary as part of the healing and feeling process. It’s also an integral part of being human and experiencing life, contrary to many “societal norms.”
That’s why I created Beyond the Arena, now Unbridled Retreats, 14 years ago – our equine retreats allow people a safe space to cry, release, process, reflect, and be themselves. No judgement, no “fixing” rather an uplifting, guided, supportive environment to allow people to cry, laugh, celebrate, grief, love, release pent up emotions and embrace self-compassion – which is life-changing, and in some cases, life-saving, as it was for me in my own healing journey.
Thanks for reading. Does any of this resonate with you? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
With love,
Devon
“The Summer Day” by Mary Oliver
/in Health and Wellness/by Devon CombsWho made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
—Mary Oliver
My Life with Horses
/in Following Your Passion/by Unbridled RetreatsMy legacy is to bring the healing power of horses to others in need.
I was blessed to grow up with horses, although at the time I didn’t realize just how lucky I was. Both of my parents are horse people. Every Sunday we would go to the pasture across from my grandparents’ home and ride horses around the lake. My pony was named Chindy.
At the time I didn’t appreciate the gift of horses because I wasn’t given a choice to ride, it was my parents decision. My eight-year-old self wanted to do other things like play soccer and hang out with my friends. However, that all changed in fourth grade when Brynie and Dina, the cool girls, started to take riding lessons at a fancy barn called High Prairie Farms in Parker, Colorado. I was invited to take riding lessons with them, and I became hooked. I loved going to the barn for lessons every Friday after school. I loved the ritual of riding and the riding uniform—paddock boots, leather chaps and helmet.
I began taking riding lessons once a week and my obsession with horses started to develop. By the time I was 11 years old I identified completely with the riding culture.
When I wasn’t taking riding lessons at High Prairie Farms, I was riding Chindy at my grandparent’s house and spending a lot of time on the necessary chores of mucking, grooming, and feeding. I didn’t mind the work at all; I wanted to spend as much time as possible with my four-legged friends. Brynie and Dina quit riding, but I kept going. The horse force inside me was strong and there was no turning back. “Horse Girl” became my identity, and the barn was a safe haven where I could truly be myself.
At age 14, I started working with a new trainer, Jim, who helped me get accepted into Pony Club. I began competing in three-day eventing which was a blast. Some of my favorite memories were at Pony Club rallies and cross country jumping with one of my closest friends, Brooke. My big, beautiful, chestnut gelding Rooney was my constant companion from the age of 12 to 17. We won one horse trial. Rooney didn’t always like to jump (resulting in a broken nose for me during one attempt). My love for horses and my horse-life identity was growing every year.
I continued riding up until the end of high school, when I made the choice to go to the University of California in Santa Barbara. I envisioned living by the beach and marrying a surfer guy. I had decided it was time to move forward and explore a life beyond horses. I sold my horse and went to college. At the time I was a perfectionist with control issues and the consequences of these characteristics were starting to show. Being so far away from home without my horse, my friends, or my family led to a deep depression.
The dorm rooms were not a safe haven as the barn had been. I began numbing my feelings through bulimia which quickly became a daily routine. This helped me feel more in control, numbing my discomfort but it also kept me from a social life and affected my studies. After six months in California, I dropped out of college and returned to Colorado. I attended Colorado State University briefly, but at that point, my obsession with food and numbing my emotions ran my life. I thought joining the polo team at CSU would be helpful because I’d be around horses, but it wasn’t the same.
Riding horses wasn’t the answer—I was out-of-control and facing addiction. I tried to escape. I dropped out of college and went to New Zealand thinking if I went halfway around the world, I could run-away from my eating disorder.
Waitressing in Queenstown in the South Island, the bulimia continued. I moved again, to the North Island, thinking if I worked on a horse farm in small town Raglan maybe being around horses could fix me. I got a job as the head groom of a hare hunting stable and I was riding four or five horses every day. It was beautiful country, the riding was great, but again, my soul craved more than riding horses. I felt lost and confused and I knew I needed to heal from the inside out.
I ended my work visa early and came back to Colorado feeling like a failure, ashamed at my attempts to escape my problems. I was self-sabotaging, which landed me in a hospital, then a mental institution, then Mirasol, a holistic eating disorder treatment center in Arizona.
Mirasol offered equine therapy to help patients. I’d never heard of equine therapy, but I knew that “equine” meant I’d be around horses again. When I showed up at the treatment center in Arizona, it was unlike the sanitary mental institution feel of the hospital. There were no fluorescent lights, only natural sunshine and a beautiful hacienda that had been converted into an inviting treatment center. I immediately felt my soul take a deep breath, and I knew this was where my healing was meant to happen.
I looked forward to the equine therapy sessions and I was excited to be around horses again. I volunteered to be the first to go in a session and I stepped into the round pen with a horse named Jack. There were no bridles, no saddles—this was not about riding, this was something different. Marla, the equine therapist, told me to go to Jack and connect with him. I confidently walked right up to him and he walked away. He turned his butt to me and walked as far away as he could! I stood there feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Even the horse didn’t want to be with me at this point of my addiction and self-destruction. I didn’t blame him.
Marla saw my pain and told me to ground myself in the dirt and take long, deep breaths. As I began to connect and root to the earth, I felt a wave of emotion come from deep within me. For the first time in my 21 years of life, I could not control my emotions. The tears began leaking out of my eyes and I started sobbing. The moment my authentic emotions were released, Jack turned and looked at me and then immediately walked over and placed his gentle muzzle in my heart.
I was wailing and sobbing and Jack stood with me through my pain, not moving. He stood with me and offered unwavering strength, support, and unconditional love. I was shocked, experiencing a deep love and connection I had never known. Jack accepted me exactly as I was, and that’s what my soul needed. In that moment, everything changed. My relationship with horses stopped being ego-based, and instead began to emanate from my heart. Jack’s presence and love had shifted my vibration and I felt open, hopeful, and eager to share more of my authentic self with the world, a feeling I’d never had before.
That moment in the round pen opened up my heart and my past and started me on the path to helping others through the healing power of horses. I finished my 60-day treatment at Mirasol and returned home full of hope and purpose. I soon was introduced to a training program that taught coaching with horses and I immediately signed up to attend. It seemed that the universe had placed in my hands the ideal education. I was excited and passionate about learning to help others through horses in a healing way. I became an avid student, always studying (something I had never done in college). I now had a purpose— to connect people with horses for healing, self-discovery, and empowerment.
My bulimia had subsided and my energy was redirected with intense focus into my newfound passion. I began volunteering at therapeutic riding centers, immersing myself in the equine coaching world. I had found my calling. Horses had been by my side throughout my life, patiently waiting, but it wasn’t until my darkest days that I saw their light and was pulled me out of my dark tunnel of despair.
It became my life’s purpose and living legacy to help others experience the love, support, and acceptance found in connecting with horses—it’s an authentic connection unlike any other relationship. Several years later I founded Beyond the Arena and then Unbridled Retreats. With horses as my partners, we help people access their inner wisdom during coaching sessions and horse retreats to take back into their everyday lives. This happens without judgment, through love and pure honesty. After a lifetime spent with horses, I am still in awe of their gentle patience, and their ability to teach all of us about ourselves.
Have you been transformed by horses? Share your experience in the comments below.
With love,
Devon
A Reminder to Breathe
/in Health and Wellness/by Unbridled RetreatsNone of us are raised to think about our breathing. We assume breathing just comes naturally. Some cultures, and religions, and scientific studies, however, show us the significant benefits of bringing awareness to your breath.
When we take short breaths, we tend to be disconnected from our physical sensations and stuck in our head—overthinking, uptight, and stressed. This physical and mental tightness wreaks havoc on our bodies and our lives, making us sick, unhappy, and anxious.
Getting out of your head and into your body allows you to become more present. Unbridled Equine Coaching shows us how to be present in our breath through horses. Horses live completely in the present. They’re not depressed about what happened in the past or anxious about what could happen in the next five minutes. They are fully present in all of the sensations and solidity of now. When we emulate them and become present through focus on our breathing, we bring our awareness to the moment. We let go of worries and anxiety. We become present.
Being present is particularly important when you’re working with a 1,200-pound animal. When my clients are connecting one-on-one with horses, I remind them to breathe into their emotions.
When we deny our emotions, we create physical symptoms in our body. Emotions are energy and that energy has to go somewhere. If we suppress our emotions, that withheld emotional energy will manifest and can disrupt our well-being throughout our lives.
I learned this through firsthand experience. In the past when I would have a feeling of anger, upset or unhappiness, grief, or sadness, (any emotion that wasn’t happy or upbeat), I would suppress and deny these “negative” emotions. I did not breathe into them. I didn’t acknowledge them. I didn’t give them air. I didn’t release them. I didn’t know how. All of those emotions were trapped and manifested in my body as an eating disorder which allowed me to maintain the illusion of control. I was able to hide my emotions in a very unhealthy way for a period of years. My suppressed emotions did explode later on, and my mental health was deeply affected.
When I learned to breathe allowing new energy in with each inhale, and pushing old energy out with each exhale, my body started to release and soften, and I was finally able to process my emotions and let them go. This is the action and the outcome I share with my clients to anchor them in the moment. When you breathe into and out of your sadness, your sorrow, your fear, your disappointment, your joy, or your happiness, new energy cycles through your body and old energy is released.
Breathing is especially important when you’re with a horse. As a prey animal, a horse can immediately sense if you’re not breathing normally. If you’re feeling fear, you get tense, and your body tightens; the horse feels your energy. When you get tense and tighten up, the horse mirrors your energy and gets tight and tense—the horse is directly responding to your energy field.
One of my favorite sayings to clients is “breathe and smile!” The moment I speak those words, their bodies start to relax, a smile crosses their face, and they lighten up. When that change occurs, the horses visibly relax. It’s a chain reaction, a cause and effect. When you’re breathing and you’re in the moment, you are calm, inviting, and open to people and the horses you interact with.
Where in your life can you practice taking deeper breaths?
I’d love to hear….share in the comments below!
Breathe with me. Inhale 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, exhale, 1, 2 ,3 ,4, 5, and relish this present moment of your life.
Devon